The When/Then Game & It's Not About Aesthetics
I have a special episode for you- the backstory on how I became a coach and the “post competition” expert you see now. It's when I decided to stop playing the when/then game. If you’ve ever said, “I’ll be happy when I’m 5lb lighter, once I compete, then I’ll be a credible coach, when I get to x then I’ll have x.” Basically, if you think that your confidence or self-love will be handed to you at the finish line of your goal weight or body- that thinking is flawed. In this heart pillar, we work through those beliefs about yourself so you can start loving and appreciating yourself now.
I want to fill you in a bit on my background:
After my last competition in 2017, I became really depressed. I had just finished a 2 year sprint of competing in 5 shows back to back, thinking the finish line was becoming a champion and all my problems would be solved if I won. My binge eating behaviors came back and I quickly gained 20lbs post comp and felt awful. I had gone through these before back in 2013, I still fell back into these bad binge eating habits. It was on my heart to start a business. I had been sharing to my IG for about 2 years before I sold them anything (like coaching) but nothing was really taking off because I felt scared to put myself out there.
The turning point was when I attended a competition for my client that April, at my heaviest weight ever I came to a point of acceptance and thought, “ok this is my body, its not where I want it to be but if its between being miserable and being happy, i just want to be happy.” The biggest thing I realized was this: YOUR confidence won’t come from an aesthetic or outside source. It is created, cultivated and sustained by YOU... right now. In this moment and every moment.
If you don't like yourself/body now, you won't like it when you reach whatever point. The space between is not an aesthetic, it's your internal work to validate yourself. This is what healing is about- taking those false beliefs and having the courage and the love to grow from it.
Internal work looks like:
Journaling
Coaching programs
Questioning your definition of success & redefining it for yourself
The work here is never done. It is a daily practice of checking in with yourself-- staying gentle, open, and compassionate in what you discover.
The work here is never done. It is a daily practice of checking in with yourself-- staying gentle, open, and compassionate in what you discover. If your'e not there yet, it's ok. This is all a PROCESS and you're in the right place.
To continue this inner work, here are 5 journal prompts to keep you moving in the right direction.
What is the story you're telling yourself about what you must be/achieve/have before you're worthy of x? (Love, success, respect, confidence)
Are you waiting for a "better" version of yourself to arrive? Or holding onto someone you once were? (Tip: A closet clean out is a GREAT tool for this)
Think about your "goal", and what is the space between you and that thing?
What is one thing you can do TODAY that honors what you want for yourself, while challenging your old beliefs and stories?
How can you gently move yourself closer to what you want most for yourself?
Remind yourself why you deserve it. Believe that you are worth it. Not later. Right now.
This episode is super meaty- you won’t want to miss it! Go check out this latest episode and if you’d like to be notified when episodes about this topic air, please use this opt-in link!
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