What Are You Available For? How to Protect Your Energy and Honor Your Boundaries
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself how available are you for everyone else in your life vs for yourself? When you have a full roster of clients, a social media community you’re pouring into + your real-life relationships, your energy becomes super important. We can’t have you feeling guilty for feeling like you’re not doing enough or feeling resentment because you are doing so much.
The art of setting and honoring boundaries
Boundaries aren't rules for how other people get to treat you. They are for YOURSELF to honor. If someone breaks a boundary, it's on you to take action. Creating boundaries for what type of questions you answer in your DM’s or how much emotional support you give your girlfriends is to protect your own energy. It's not to tell them how to act around you. Oftentimes if a boundary is created, most people will respect it, people who benefitted from you not having them will be upset. Thats a big red flag. Boundaries don’t make you arrogant or a bitch. If you’re not putting boundaries in place, it ultimately sucks your energy and once you have them, the better you can show up for your clients, self, and those you love.
How do we know what boundaries to create?
Find where your energy is being sucked.
Physically write out what that boundary is going to be
Write down what you will do if the boundary is crossed
Identify how you will feel when the boundary is crossed- this is super important! We know that this will allow us to hold those boundaries.
The difference between internal and external boundaries
I characterize boundaries into two big categories- internal and external. Internal boundaries are those boundaries we choose to honor within ourselves. External boundaries are boundaries we put up for ourselves. Boundaries are super personal and they can be within your business or within your relationships with those around you. I want you to think about, who is pouring into you and who are you pouring into?
Things to keep in mind when it comes to boundaries
Most people don’t respect boundaries because they don’t know how to keep their own
It’s going to be uncomfortable
Fulfilled people will accept boundaries because they have their own
You don’t need to explain
Often it can feel like you’re doing something wrong
How to give from your overflow, not half your cup
Now that you have some boundaries set, this will allow you to show up so much more powerfully. This is mostly a mindset shift. No one is forcing you to give from half your cup- you are the one who is letting yourself do that. It’s a choice. Here are a few tips to create this mindset shift:
Let go of the shoulds
Acknowledging and nurturing your inner child
Identifying your default programmings (programs of your wounded inner child- people pleasing, etc.)
Determining what you have the energetic capacity for
When you know this, you can show up more fully for yourself and for others. When you start to let go of the people pleasing you are able to really show up as yourself. You stop needing validation from others. This will ultimately allow you to grow into your highest self!
Let me know what boundaries you are setting!
