How To Invite More Receiving and Surrender Into Your Life
I had my first coaching class that I hosted in the Bay Area last weekend and let me tell you, it was amazing! I literally thought I was going to die during the week because there was so much stuff I needed to do and I was going through a lot of family stuff. It’s amazing how the edges of our comfort zones increase when we dare to push the boundaries. As I was coaching the 3-day class, I was really in a beautiful masculine energy; holding space in the container, holding space for my clients, and teaching - a couple of things happened. It’s so cool to see somebody learning something that you have been using for your clients for so long. To be able to teach people the same method and physically seeing the results happen after I allowed them to apply themselves to each other, it was mind blowing! So after a full weekend of being in my masculine, I intentionally moved into my feminine energy.
As I was in my feminine, a couple of “aha” moments came to me. A couple of moments during a massage I experienced recently was where I noticed my mindset move into this worry for the massage therapist and that’s what sparked this week’s episode; this concept and idea of how we can invite more receiving and surrender into our lives. Even in these moments when we are receiving, are we really receiving? Are you fully receiving? How can we invite more of that?
Becoming aware of the moments where you step back into people pleasing mode, when you should be the one receiving
Going back to my massage therapist example, this woman is working hard trying to get these knots out of my back! While she was working on me, I had this thought of “Omg is she okay? Is she working too hard?” - I had to pause for a moment. That moment I wanted to be a people pleaser, I paused and instead of getting into that energy instead I sent love and gratitude her way. I pushed that thought to the side and instead said, “Thank you for the amazing effort that you’re putting into this. Thank you for the love and attention to detail that you’re putting into this massage,” versus trying to micromanage the situation and go into this people pleasing mode of worrying if she’s okay.
The first way we can invite more surrender and receiving is by simply becoming aware of those moments. It happens often, maybe you’re getting your nails done and you’re worried about something there. Or you are working out and I would get worried if someone needed the machine I was on - I was so hyper aware of everything happening outside of me that I couldn’t even allow myself to receive a workout, I used to micromanage a situation so everyone around me could happen.
How can you allow yourself to receive in the smallest of ways?
For example, one of the ways I had done this was allowing people to help me with my luggage. When I really decided to get on this journey of inviting more feminine energy and leadership into my life and really operating from the divine feminine, I noticed that my energy opened up and I was more magnetic to other people and other people wanted to help me. I had to regulate my nervous system and my own capacity to be able to receive the things people wanted to give me. These are things like someone wanting to lift my luggage up to put in the overhead compartment. I am fully capable of doing that myself and I can allow someone to do that for me. The things that you’re fully capable of doing, are you open to allowing someone to do it for you? This looks like allowing someone to cook dinner for you and fully receiving it, allowing someone to buy you coffee and fully receiving it, allowing someone to open the door for you and fully receiving it; and in receiving, you say thank you and come from a place of gratitude instead of saying, “Oh you didn’t have to do that.” Right? You see the difference? A total energetic shift!
Another example of this is through compliments. Do you accept compliments or do you deflect them? This is a really great place to start if you’re having trouble receiving and surrendering, start with the compliments. Next time someone says, “Oh, I really love your hair.” Respond with a thank you instead of “This? Oh, it’s so dirty.” or when someone says “Oh, I like those jeans.” Respond with, “Thank you, they’re my favorite too!” instead of “Omg these? I bought them for like $10 at Ross.” There’s so many ways that we subconsciously deflect compliments because we feel we are unworthy of them. If you don’t think you’re not worthy of receiving anything, then it’s going to be very hard for you to give uninhibitedly. If you can’t receive with unconditional love, more often than not, what you’re giving out may come from a people pleasing energy. It may come off as, “I want you to really be happy so I’m going to give you these things.”
Receiving money
Say you’re doing something for free, like a free class for example. But someone comes up to you and says, “I really want to pay for this, it was good. There was so much value and I would really like to pay for this. Is there a way that I can pay you?” - When those type of things happen, can you say yes? Can you receive? The way that you can reframe it is, absolutely and the proceeds can go towards a donation. The act of someone giving you money is not for you but for them. First, it’s this energetic reciprocity of wanting to give something in exchange for receiving something. It’s not about money or the number you charged, it’s an energetic exchange. For a lot of my clients who have hard time charging for things, it’s due to looking at money as equivalent to their worth - when it’s not. Money is neutral. It’s not good nor bad, it’s just energy. Receiving money is a great way to start shifting that pattern for yourself. If you regularly don’t charge for your services, this is a great place to start to do some inner work to reframe how you can receive it. It’s going to really shift things for you!
I had this ‘receiving’ conversation with another client who really wanted to invite more of that feminine energy into her life and I really think this is where it starts. Can you receive unconditionally? Can you surrender to receiving? A lot of times we misinterpret surrendering with giving it up - but it’s not. Surrendering is the process of, imagine yourself floating down the river; instead of doggie paddling down stream, you float on your back with it. Surrendering is floating with your back on the current to take you wherever you need to go. In this case, the current is Source/Universe/God. Allowing the universe to guide you to where you are going to be and having full self-trust in yourself that you’re going to do where you need to go. The thing with self-trust is, if you’re floating on your back on the river - 1. How can I trust my subconscious mind to take me where I need to go? Yes. 2. Do I trust the power of the universe to magnetize me towards the opportunities that are right, the clients that are in alignment with me? That the opportunities are in alignment with me? Yes. BUT here’s the caveat, how are you going to receive any of that trust and abundance if you can’t even receive a compliment? Support? See how this all ties together? You allowing yourself to receive compliments and support from people who want to be there for you, is going to trickle over into all the other areas in life where you can receive. The biggest one here being, opportunities from the universe. Are you repelling opportunities because you don’t know how to receive? If so, what is that costing you?
