Bonus: Choosing Calm Over Chaos
Today we are going to talk about choosing calm over chaos. The initial chaos of the pandemic had gone down but I feel everyone is getting antsy again as now parks in California are shutting down and we are being asked to stay inside even more. People who are still going to essential businesses are seeing some people not take the shelter in place mandate seriously and I know it can feel so frustrating to see that happen!
Using the Thought Model
So let’s use the thought model today. You know circumstances are things that happen outside of ourselves- such as other people's actions. Circumstances then trigger thoughts and our thoughts about circumstances create our experiences, circumstances alone don't create our experience.
So while you make feel panic about this virus spreading and may think its the virus that's making you panic- it's actually not. It's your thought about the virus that's causing this panic within you.
Being able to be aware of our thoughts is the catalyst for choosing calm over chaos. There are a couple tools that we can use that I'll teach you now,
Tool #1: Mindfulness
The first being mindfulness. Mindfulness is defined as: a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique.
We can build mindfulness in our lives by creating mindful moments. An acronym I found online is STOP
S: Stop whatever you’re doing now.
T: Take a breath and reconnect to the body.
O: Observe what’s happening now in your body, what thoughts and feelings you’re having, what sounds you hear around you.
P: Proceed with what you were doing.
You can set an alarm on your phone 2 times a day to remind you to do so. Engaging in this activity helps you create that state of awareness and becoming conscious vs being on autopilot all day.
Tool #2: Mindful Eating
Another way to cultivate mindfulness is through your eating. Because you know what I say- how you do one thing is how you do everything. Practice eating slower, chewing your food, tasting the taste, stopping between bites and being present for your meal. Not looking at your phone, a book or the tv.
Small habits like this really build your mindfulness muscle, so that when a panic thought about the world pops into your head, you have the habit of pausing and getting present to ask yourself if this thought is really true for you.
Tool #3: Meditation and Breathing
The last tool to build mindfulness into your day is meditation and breathing. Starting a meditation habit (I would suggest start with 5-10 min a day and build up from there) trains your mind to be PRESENT. On IG I shared a breathing box exercise which is a tool you can bring in instantly during a moment of panic to bring yourself back to the present.
Remember that when we feel unsafe our immediate response is to freeze, flight or fight. When you feel any of those sensations, do the breathing box exercise and I promise you will be able to bring yourself to a place where you can then choose calm.
Whatever you're going through, please be kind to yourself. If you have found yourself stress eating, not exercising and back to bad habits- it's ok. Recognize this is a way that you have learned to cope and that your mind is doing what it can to protect you.
Then decide to choose differently. Decide to choose clam. Decide to choose to do something that will make you feel better. Decide to be in charge of your mind instead of letting it be in charge of you.
All those decisions start with a thought. SO get out your journals and do the inner work to become away from what thoughts are driving your current actions.